


She Would Be Fine

by EerieBarbarian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Denial, Depression, Other, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23086156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EerieBarbarian/pseuds/EerieBarbarian
Summary: Hermione isn't quite herself and her friends are concerned. She doesn't understand why they won't just let her be.((A/N Mentions a bit of self-harm. This is honestly what anxiety feels like for me on a daily. I just wrote it from Hermione's point of view. Nothing too extreme, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up.))
Relationships: Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10
Collections: TDP Random Prompt Challenge March 2020





	She Would Be Fine

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling. I merely created the situation.

Hermione smiled to herself, a small giggle escaped and added to her amusement. She always found herself a little amused whenever she saw a beetle. They reminded her of the time she had trapped Rita Skeeter in a jar. She should probably feel ashamed, but the woman had been awful and had deserved a little shake on occasion. She should be thankful that Hermione never “accidentally” mixed her in with her potions supplies.  
She was startled from her thoughts when her hair was brushed back away from her face. Turning her attention away from the window where the little beetle was stuck between the panes of glass, she saw Ron watching her carefully. She knew he was only concerned, but his constant worry annoyed her to no ends. She sometimes wished that he would worry about someone else.   
Behind him, Pansy stood looking pensieve. “Would you like some tea, Hermione?” the dark haired girl asked. Hermione struggled not to roll her eyes. Now the girlfriend was worried, too. How long had she been staring at the damned beetle.   
“That would be lovely,” she forced her tone to be polite. “Thank you.” As they sat near her and Pansy poured the tea, she wondered when Harry would be back. He was the only one that didn’t bother her. The only one that seemed to understand that she occasionally needed to be alone with her thoughts. She was fine. She would be fine.   
Making small talk with Ron and Pansy was tiresome. It took a lot of effort and energy to pretend to be paying attention to what they were saying. All she really wanted to do was curl up on her couch and be alone with her blanket and her books. But she smiled and laughed when they did. She spoke in all the appropriate places. Ron seemed relieved. Pansy looked at her with eyes that saw too much.   
As their visit started to linger, her attention finally began to wane. Hermione got up and paced a little. Ron’s face fell as she did. He had gotten his hopes up that she was back to her old self, but that girl was gone. The woman that remained was colder and a bit darker. A little sadder, as well. Hermione didn’t see why she shouldn’t be sad. They had lost so many and lived through so much. If Ron wanted to feel happy, then fine. That’s perfectly alright. So, why couldn’t she feel sad. She was fine. She would be fine.   
She moved to the bookshelf and started aimlessly picking up books. She’d pick up one and then another, leafing through them as though looking for something before stacking them neatly. Looking at the stack, she frowned. She put them back on the shelf, one at a time. Lining them up perfectly. She was absently talking to Pansy, answering her questions while she fixed the other books so that they lined up just so.   
As she reached the top shelf, her sleeve slid back, revealing a thin hair elastic wrapped around her wrist. “Hermione,” Ron spoke softly. “Where did you get that?”  
She looked at her wrist. Red lines littered her once tanned skin where she’d snapped the elastic so many times. A few bruises were visible on the underside of her wrist. She smiled at Ron softly, “That book was a gift when I left Hogwart’s. From Professor Slughorn.”  
“Hermione, you know I don’t mean the book,” he moved quickly like he was going to grab her wrist. She shrank back looking fearful that he would strike her. Ron stopped, looking hurt. “Pansy, will you stay with her. I’m going to go get Harry.” He left the room shaking his head.   
Hermione straightened her gown and pulled her shawl a bit tighter around her shoulders. She sat next to Pansy and poured herself a cup of tea. She didn’t understand why they were all so damned worried. She was fine. She would be fine.


End file.
